Photo courtesy of:www.the-hip-homemaker.comA good friend of mine was recently laid off from her job of which she hasn't been complianing about. She's newly married (1.5 yrs) and a mother of two (4 month old girl & 2 yr old boy). As you can tell, she has her hands full.
We were talking this past week and she was tell me how at first, her husband was happy that she was home full time to care for the children and tend to the home but now she thinks that he's jealous because he works all day, infact, he's had to pick-up an additional part-time job so that they can stay a float.
He hasn't been complaining too much to her but she can tell that he's not happy with the current situation because he discusses his home affairs with his mother. So, his mother takes it upon herself to contact her daughter in-law (my friend )to question what's going on in their home and to find out why she's not handling her business on the home front. Needless to say, some of the questions she was asking my friend was a little intrusive so she had to letter her mother in-law know that she's trying her best at being a "homemaker" and does'nt think that she should be concerned with issues that don't involve her household. Afterward, she asked her husband not to discuss their personal business with his mother, to come to her so that they can resolve their own issues.
I thought back to what I've learned in this "gendered lives" class to offer my friend some advice about barriers in gender communication and how to open up the lines so that they can communicate successfully. In talking with her (female to female) it surprised me to discover that my girlfriend is completely "happy & content" with being a homemaker and does not want to re-enter the workforce. I guess there are some females that prefer the traditional woman to the modern woman. It will be interesting to see how this pans out since her husband wants her to eventually return to the workforce whereas she doesn't.
Response to Robin's Blog (week # 6)
ReplyDeleteTeandra said...
Wow... that's a tough one. My friend was also recently laid off and she has two little one's (4 mos. and 2 yrs) and is newly married. She's very happy at being a homemaker and her husband was at first but now it's starting to cause some tension within their relationship and with her in-laws.
I don't know, I never thinks it's a good idea to have children to try and save a relationship or if you're already having financial difficulties because I don't see how a child can make either situations better or how it's benefical to the child.
Mother knows best.. is what I've learned thus far and I'm going to have to side with you on this one. I think that they should weigh the pro's and con's before deciding to extend their family, just to make sure that the decision is being made with a clear head and not just because she's emotional about her recent job loss.
June 26, 2009 6:19 PM
Response to Taran's week# 6 blog
ReplyDeleteTaran,
I've never watched the real housewives of NJ but I have caught episodes of the real housewifes of both NY and Atlanta. If I didn't have to work (was financially stable), then I can see myself being a housewife....why not?!?
To answer your questions, I think that both men and women are equally hard on whomever their child is dating (son or daughter). I have a co-worker that has two son's and she's always saying what type of girls she'll allow her sons to date and some of the things that come out of her mouth make me think my gosh.. these are definetly "mama's boys" and I have a daughter and both my husband and I are starting to have the talk about what age we'll allow her to date and what drill we'll put these boys through to be sure that they're acceptable to date our daughter.
Men maybe a little more relaxed with their sons but then again, I'm not too sure. In the end, I think every parent just wants to make sure that their children are in a safe and happy relationship and that they (the parents)can get along with whomever they decide to bring home.
I'm not sure if the husband did the wrong thing by calling his sister, it's better then leaving them in the house alone if he felt as though he couldn't handle the task set before him. If he's not used to spending time alone with the kids then she should be a little more understanding, for some men it's something that they have to be eased in to not thrown upon. I'd have to know the history of this family before passing judgement.
Response to Tonya's blog (week # 6)
ReplyDeleteJune 26, 2009 3:20 PM
Teandra said...
Tonya,
I haven't read the book and I've only seen pieces of the movie as it was on at a friends house but noone was really watching it because it was more like a housewarming/social gathering. Anyway, I read your blog and figured that the book would be different then the movie but not a total "spin" different.
I can't offer my true opinion because I've yet to read the book or watch the movie from start to finish but I think that both sexes are guilty of putting forth their "representative" when dating. If we all were just "who we are" naturally when dating then, there would probably be less break-ups because you'd know from the start what you were getting. Unfortunately, that's just not the case. Too many of us try to be something/someone that we think the other person wants instead of just being.
That's why I think the best relationships come out those that are friendships first, the walls are already down and you don't have to worry about the "representative" leaving the premises.
Teandra,
ReplyDeleteI think most men will be unhappy when they are working two jobs, and their wives are at home. For us women, many times we rather to be at home with the kids and take a good care of them rather than have them in day care or over a babysitter. But also, we can find men who want their wives to stay at home, but the wife wants to work outside her house like her husband.
My brother got married about two years ago, at first his wife was at home, but after 4 months she starts to look for a job because she got tired being at home most of the time. Now, she is pregnant and she is due in August. As my brother told me that they are fighting daily because he wants her to leave her job and stay at home relax and get ready for their first baby; but she doesn't want that. she wants to keep working until two weeks before her due date and she told him that she will go back to work a month after the baby born. Also, she is looking for a babysitter for the baby so he can get use to her from the day he born.