So Saturday 6/23 on my way home from the hair salon, I decided to stop by the Caribbean restaurant to pick-up some lunch (take-out).
As I was waiting by the register for the cashier to ring me up, I over heard a few men discussing sports (the NBA play-offs) as they sat at the bar.
The debate is about which team is better of course The Cav's or the Magic and/or The Laker's or the "Nuggets". As the men choose their favorites, some agreeing while the others disagreed the conversation ultimately switches from better team to better players. Two guys go head to head about Kobe Bryant being able to take on Lebron James and/or Dwight Howard since the latter two are of a bigger statue. The discussion in the room started to get heated as other men and one woman decided to join the debate. As I waited I watched the body language, volume level and tone of the men compared to that of the one woman who was clearly with her mate.
I was not surprised at all by what I was witnessing and could relate everything that was going on at that point in time to chapters 5,6 & 7 of what I just read during my long stay at the salon.
The men raised their arms, their voices and even banged on the bar top to ensure that they had the floor while speaking. The one woman tried to yell over them about the "wing span" that Dwight Howard has over both Lebron & Kobe but they dismissed her verbal communication completely as if she had not even spoken. In fact, besides her leaning forward a little toward the group her demand for attention was minimal. The only thing I could do was look at her and smile which made me chuckle to myself since that too was discussed in our readings.
I've recently discovered why there's miscommunication amongst the two sexes but I venture to ask how do we narrow that gap so that we can be heard & taken seriously. That one woman amongst several guys could have known just as much about the sport of basketball as any of the other men but the guys that were in her presence could care less about her view. What can we do as woman to ensure that we're heard?
Photo and Saturday's lunch courtesy of De Island Breeze: http://deislandbreeze.com/
I think no matter how hard we try, man will still ignore us if we are discussing a topic that has to do more with masculine than feminine.
ReplyDeleteThe same thing if females are discussing feminine situation and one male tried to talk over them, the females will ignore him as if he doesn't exist until they finish their talk.
This happened with friend of mine when he went with his fiancé and three of her friends to pick kitchen items to list them for her bridal shower. His fiancé and her friends start arguing whether to pick electrics tools or just regular cooks' tools. He was trying to tell them what he thinks and why but no one was listening to him and his fiancé keeps telling him "it is not his business" so he left them and went to different place.
I think as I said it depends on the topic and who is discussing it.
I guess it's just socially accepted that men and sports go together like "peanut butter and jelly". Do I think this is a misconception - of course! Do I feel that some women think that men should more about sport because they are men - yes, I do. How do we break the mold, by teaching child early that guys can have the same knowledge about "girl things" and vice versa. As an early educator that's why I did - any other answers?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Maissa on this; that no matter how hard women try to discuss sports they are not being heard. I think this is just a typical situation when it comes to sports topics. Women try to have an intellegant conversation about sports but they are not really being heard or taken seriously from the men.
ReplyDeleteAnd Robin, yes we try to teach the next generation about gender bias. Educating the next generations at an early age from their parents, teachers, mentors, etc.
Week #2 comment posted to Cecilia blog:
ReplyDeleteIt's funny that you had an issue with him calling you "lil lady".. he may have said it jokingly but I could see how it may have offended you. Sometimes we as humans are a little sensitive to certain subjects age and height maybe two of the most common ones that I know of. My husband is 6'4" and he's gets a little touchy everytime people ask him does he play basketball as a profession (as an example). Also... one day when I was in the store some younger girls were passing by me and said "excuse me maam" and I thought jeesh, I'm not that much older them! Am I starting to look old ?!? At what age does the younger generation think that your a "maam" or "sir". As far as acknowledging one's gender when speaking directly to them I belive that traditionally it was done out of respect. You'll still get a lot of that in the south so I guess it's dependent upon location and I do think older people disregard age when addressing younger people that younger people do to adults.
May 29, 2009 9:03 PM
Week # 2 Comment on Robyn's Blog:
ReplyDeleteEveryone's post had a valid response and spoke from different experiences. I'll be married 3 yrs this August and my husband and I purchased our first condo together at the age of 26 before we were even engaged. We dated for 2 years and made a huge financial purchase knowing that eventually we'd fully commit. His parents are definitely old school (from Charleston South Carolina) and I'm sure they had their reservations about us buying something when we dated for a short period of time and were not even engaged. My parents on the other hand were just happy we weren't renting! Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, refers to services and privileges given to men from women without commitment. Basically saying why be married when we can play house! Which can be a problem in some relationships where a woman is looking for that ring and the man is like why mess up what we have. I think it's great that you have given your daughter your blessings, this way as Taryn states she can see for herself if they can manage under the same roof. My grandmother always said, "I can show you better than I can tell you"! Meaning sometimes you need to experience things one your own before you see the light. If things don't work out between the two, atleast she can say that she gave it a shot.
Week # 2 comment left on Maissa's Blog:
ReplyDeleteI'd have to agree with Cecilia... as odd as it sounds, men or husbands do like to feel like the providers of the home which may be a contributing factor to this strange occurance. Depending on the amount of the prescription, I may pick up my husbands if he asked or if I knew he had one waiting to be picked up. But I find it really odd that about half the population that visit your pharmacy choose not to (wives that is). The next time you conduct this private study can you observe the number of prescriptions and amount of the husband verses the wives? Maybe it's because men tend to have more chronic illness that require frequent refills than that of their counterparts,which would explain a lot. Keep me posted !